Being blonde, having a big nose, looking surprised and failing at Youtube

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PS : I’m blonde now.

Hi kids.

What’s up?

I was thinking about blogging, vlogging and web sharing in general.

I was contemplating starting a Youtube channel, as I would like to talk about all the girly things that I love and making sure that you guys, viewers, readers… could get a sense of who I am. Because, before all, blogging is, for me, about community. Reading words written by someone about whom I could say :  “Yeah, we could hang out.”. Of course, it’s about quality content too, but you have to connect to a certain level right?

English is not my first language, but the fashion&beauty community I love and feel the most attracted/connected to, is the english speaking one. But, since it’s not my first language, I don’t feel as comfortable being “myself” with it as in french. Plus, the blogging format is so constricted in many ways. I feel I’m torn between the “traditional” way of saying things, without my cussing, my inappropriate jokes that are not the smartest, making sure that nobody will feel discouraged reading me, not making spelling mistakes (which is impossible for me if writing as much as I would like to), and my way. Messy. A tad stupid and generally over sharing…

I felt that with a video format, in which I was always very interested in, I could let the speech flow and be more natural. I don’t see blogging as a mean to an end, but it’s difficult to keep a cold head when you see all the sponsoring and career making possibilities going on out there. To be honest, I’m not really  interested, but it’s just distracting me from being just a modest blogger, not giving a shit and posting things I love. Which I do, I just feel I should look over my shoulder while doing it…. Weird.

Soooo… I made a video. That’s a lie, I made 6, just because … it’s hard work! Gosh, the light changing, the camera stopping, rambling… I have even more respect for these gals…

It was taking so much space, it was such a time investment, it made me think… I really want to do this, that’s for sure, but if you can’t stick to a blog schedule, how bad will it be with video uploads??? But still, I want to jump the gun, for two reasons : connecting for realsies with a community that I’m having trouble finding with this very little and quietish blog, AND because … it freaks me out… And that‘s exciting.

It IS super scary to put yourself out there right? I will probably upload some kind of selfie with this post, and that only scares me. I don’t know what it is, I think it has to do with the bad rep style and lifestyle bloggers get. It’s not a noble art, right? I had my first “blog” (more a free website, super crappy that I adored, I made the drawings myself and wrote about Balenciaga) when I was 13, and felt absolutely no pressure. Stats weren’t even a thing at the time, and web presence didn’t feel so threatening. Now, I’m scared that the “serious” people I know will disapprove.

And, seeing my face. Oh my God. You pick up on EVERYTHING that is “wrong” with your face. My face, just so ya know, is pretty weird and completely asymmetrical. In real life it shows, but it’s ok. On camera…. It looks like I had an accident. Honestly. My voice sucks, my hair looks weird, my nose is the size of Missouri, etc. It’s just such a hard thing to watch. But I think that it shouldn’t stop me. Au contraire, it should push me to do it. Everyone on blogs and vlogs are now so fucking perfect it’s unbearable. I guess, as a public, we’re responsible to a certain extend. If only classically beautiful gals turn into mega famous “gurus”, we probably have a role in that situation.

Anyway, just some random thoughts that came to mind… Do you have a Youtube channel? Have you ever considered having one, but something stopped you? Let’s talk.

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